How to break people and relationships
Every day we're reading or listening to part of the Bible together and sharing thoughts with you. Today it’s Bern Leckie:
What did I like about today’s passage?
This is escalating. That’s not so much a “like” as “observe”, I suppose, and the regular HEALTH WARNING not to clip out wise-sounding snippets for your journal still applies.
There is a classic sign of relational breakdown here as Eliphaz’s specific (and unfounded) criticism of Job’s unconfessed sin blows up into a teardown of his character. Eliphaz is so sure he understands, he so wants to be right and to correct Job. He seems to have stopped listening a while ago, and his rant against wicked people in general is becoming epic.
Job seems right to call out his “miserable comforters.” “What ails you that you keep on arguing?” is a great question. The classic rule that applies to comment threads should apply to Job – don’t feed the trolls. There is clearly something wrong which is starting to eclipse Job’s original causes of suffering. But can Job deal with this silently? Of course not!
His words let us into his world of pain, and how relational suffering has turned his initial trust in God to bitterness against him. This is a deep cause for concern.
“All was well with me, but he shattered me;” Job recognises the huge change in his “broken” spirit, and as he feels undermined in himself, he can only attribute this to an act of God.
What did it show me about Father God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit?
Once again, nothing in terms of quotable theology. While Job’s words may reflect the truth of his feelings, we should not take them as correct about God.
The fact that God allows people to carry on like this, however, might prompt us to ask why. People whose characters are brought into question tend either to respond quickly and forcefully (as here) or cut off relationship as much as they can. God's response will come, but he allows people time to come to their own conclusions about him rather than constantly stepping in to argue with us. God's reply to Job will be forceful, but there will never be a question about whether he wants us to be in relationship with him.
What am I going to do differently as a result?
When I have a dispute with someone or concerns about what they have done, I must remember how damaging it is to start questioning their motives, character and background. I think this is something I know in theory to avoid but is surprisingly easy to end up accidentally doing in practice, especially if I get angry. I need God’s help to be a peacemaker instead, growing in my ability to be patient, listen well, not jump to conclusions, love more.
Who am I going to share this with?
I will pray and reflect first to see if there is anyone I need to seek forgiveness from for doing this! I will be happy to share with them why I want to do better in relationship.