‘The community that eats together stays together’ by Owen Lynch - 31 August 2025
TV dinners are not much of a thing in our family. Quite apart from the difficulty of eating with a knife and fork whilst the plate is balancing on your knees, you miss out on the conversations and laughter that always accompany a meal around the table.
See, the dining table is the one place our family gets together everyday. It’s the place that we talk at length about football, politics, it’s where we gently gossip about our family and friends, it’s where we plan holidays and share wisdom with each other, it’s the place where we tease one another and share funny stories.
The dining table is the place where we get together with friends and share our lives with each other. It’s the place where we get to know new people at our church’s newcomer meals. It’s the place where we include family and friends who live by themselves.
During our adult lives together, Claire and I have spent more time in France than any other country outside of the UK and one of the reasons is the French culture of food and drink.
Eating and drinking around the dining table is much more central to French culture than it is here in the UK, especially in the rural towns and villages. I remember when the kids were young we stayed overnight in a French farmhouse and enjoyed a three hour dinner party with our hosts, and our kids coped with the whole thing - five courses helped keep them interested as well as good conversation.
So to persuade our family and friends to join us round the dining table, we try and cook delicious food. No one wants to spend time around the dining table if the food and drink is unimaginative or inedible!
As the kids have got older, I have tried to show them the importance of enjoying alcohol with food - an aperitif, a glass of wine, a digestif. They aren’t that interested yet (other than beer) - but no doubt they will in the future, because a glass of wine always lubricates the conversation and easy going laughter.
For ages, I have been eager to buy some more comfortable dining chairs, as the present thirty year old ones are past their best and were uncomfortable even when they were new! We haven’t bought them yet, but they are on our wish list!
All this to say that I believe that a family that eats together stays together! A family that eats and drinks together builds and maintains strong bonds and relationships.
Now there’s nothing new in that statement.
In traditional societies all around the world, coming together to eat and drink is as old as human civilisation itself.
We as a community gather every Sunday morning and thanks to the refreshments team we drink coffee, tea, juice, and eat pastries and fruit together.
Food and drink isn’t the reason we come together, but it does create an environment for us to stay and chat with each other
whilst sharing food and drink. Imagine if we didn’t have food and drink, we would arrive late and leave early. It wouldn’t encourage a sense of community and foster friendship.
Which is why I am talking about food and drink today.
I believe that communities that eat and drink together, stay together.
When we look at the Bible, we can see a rich tradition of eating and drinking together at the heart of cultures around the Mediterranean Sea.
The Greek philosopher Plutarch in his essay “Table talk”, describes a witty Roman saying - “I have eaten, but not dined today”; meaning to say that true “dining” requires companionship as a crucial seasoning, not just food.
Meeting together over food and drink was central to Greco/Roman/ Jewish cultures.
There were celebratory banquets to mark birthdays, weddings and funerals. There were philosophical banquets to discuss intellectual subjects amongst friends. There were club banquets at the monthly meetings of various trade guilds and societies. There were banquets to mark religious and cultural festivals that involved ritual slaughter of the animals to be eaten.
Scholars note that Greco-Roman influences can be seen in Jewish banqueting culture from the days of Alexander the Great onwards.
If we think about it, we can probably remember lots of occasions when Jesus is recorded by the gospel writers as speaking and teaching in the context of a meal setting. Luke includes ten scenes where Jesus is described as eating a meal with those around him.
And when we look at those stories, there are so many features of the Greco-Roman traditions on display.
These include:
Reclining at the table (Mark 2:15; 6:39; 8:6; 14:3; 14:18; Luke 7:36; 11:37; 14:7; 24:30)
Washing of feet before reclining (Luke 7:44; John 13:3-5)
Anointing the guest of honour with perfumes (Mark 14:3)
Saying prayers before the meal (Mark 6:41; 8:6-7; 14:22)
Ending the meal with a hymn (Mark 14:26)
Ranking seats at the table (Luke 14:7; Mark 14:7-24)
I love that one - ranking the seats. Anyone been to a wedding reception and looked at the table plan and had a sneaky thought about your importance based on how far your table is from the top table?
I love that the gospel writers did not shy away from telling us that the disciples of Jesus had this thought too. Turn with me to Luke 22:14-27
14 When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. 15 And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. 16 For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfilment in the kingdom of God.”
17 After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. 18 For I tell you I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”
19 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
21 But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. 22 The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!” 23 They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.
24 A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
So the disciples were mindful of the seating plan and they start to argue about who was the most important amongst them! And Jesus does that thing that he does - he turns things up-side-down. He says that those in authority who abuse their position of power for their own benefit - those people have got it wrong and they should not be emulated.
Instead he said, people with power should serve those people without power. I love that! People who have received power, for whatever reason, must use that power to serve people who have less power.
Recently, I was reflecting on my responsibility to serve my kids as a parent. There’s a reason I spend lots of time cooking, cleaning, driving, and paying for my kids (who are all in their late teens and early twenties) and that’s because I have more power than they do. I have the power to earn more money, I have more experience of life, I have walked the road that they will walk, during their childhood years I told them how to behave. So now I try and remind myself when I am frustrated with them leaving the kitchen or the car in a mess, that I still hold more power and I should use that to serve them.
Perhaps that is true in all aspects of life? I think if we have a measure of power, then it is our responsibility to use that to serve those who have less power than us.
So Jesus uses his unlimited power of life to serve his disciples, by laying down his life for them. Notice that none of Jesus’ disciples were arrested and crucified - only Jesus; which was odd, because most revolutions end in death for all the revolutionaries, not just the leader. It’s like Jesus did a deal with the authorities to spare his disciples if he gave himself up.
And Jesus uses this meal to ask his disciples to remember him whenever they get together to eat. To break bread is another way of saying to eat and drink, and Jesus uses the breaking of bread to describe his body being broken and the wine as his blood being shed through his imminent crucifixion.
Of course, this remembrance of Jesus when they gathered for food and drink became central to the disciples lives. It became a unifying symbol of their gatherings. Until it didn’t!
Things go wrong in Corinth. The wealthy and powerful disciples of Jesus stop inviting the poor and weaker disciples to the dinner party. It’s not surprising, because it wasn’t normal in Roman society for the wealthy to serve the poor, it wasn’t normal for these people to mix as equals. The powerful people were abusing their power and in doing so were dividing the community.
Paul was outraged by this, 1 Corinthians 11: 17-22 (The Message)
17-19 Regarding this next item, I’m not at all pleased. I am getting the picture that when you meet together it brings out your worst side instead of your best! First, I get this report on your divisiveness, competing with and criticising each other. I’m reluctant to believe it, but there it is. The best that can be said for it is that the testing process will bring truth into the open and confirm it.
20-22 And then I find that you bring your divisions to worship—you come together, and instead of eating the Lord’s Supper, you bring in a lot of food from the outside and make pigs of yourselves. Some are left out, and go home hungry. Others have to be carried out, too drunk to walk. I can’t believe it! Don’t you have your own homes to eat and drink in? Why would you stoop to desecrating God’s church? Why would you actually shame God’s poor? I never would have believed you would stoop to this. And I’m not going to stand by and say nothing.
Paul is clear that if the Corinthians with power cease to serve those with less power, then their remembrance of Jesus is meaningless. If the community centred on Jesus is torn apart by divisiveness, then it ceases to be a community centred on Jesus.
Pretty fierce and profound words!
As we remember Jesus’ sacrifice today. Perhaps we can reflect on how we use our power to serve those around us. Perhaps we can reflect on the example of Jesus who used his power to serve his disciples.
The band will lead us in a song of thanksgiving after we have eaten bread and drunk some juice in remembrance of Jesus.