Good grief

Every day we're reading or listening to part of the Bible together and sharing thoughts with you. Today it’s Bern Leckie:

What did I like about today’s passage?

Maybe we don’t need the daily HEALTH WARNING about not applying little bits of this too literally today because Job has turned fully into self-defence and self-justification. This might not be surprising after the attacks he has faced, but I’m wondering if his losses and suffering are also being expressed here in grief. There are some of the classic stages:

Denial (chapter 29): When psychologists talk about this in relation to grief, they mean denial of some present circumstances to avoid getting overwhelmed by shock. Numbness and a disconnection from sense might then change one's view of life and self. Job has been busy with a different kind of denial - against false accusations from his friends - but as he reflects on his losses, he seems to have an increasingly warped view of himself.

Anger (chapter 30): Job would normally turn to God for comfort, but he does not receive this through his religious-minded friends who did not understand as much as they thought they did. God even looks distant to Job now, so his unrelieved pain is sharply expressed in angry outbursts. In his determination to blame his troubles on something, it’s between himself and God. So, he blames God for overwhelming, ongoing terrors in his life.

Bargaining (chapter 31): We often describe part of getting on with a situation as "dealing" or "coming to terms" with it. Here, Job is making terms and conditions with the words "if..." and "then...". Job is defending himself self-righteously, for sure, but it feels to me like, in his grief, Job is also reaching out to agree terms and build a contract with God.

In all of this, has Job sinned? We will get God’s answer soon. But it does strike me that in this moment, Job’s ability to be “one who comforts mourners” is profoundly drained. I don’t know how much of this was an inevitable reaction to his initial losses, but I can see how much people who claim to understand more than they do are not very helpful.

What did it show me about Father God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit?

God lets us grieve. He is not absent in our suffering but present, patient and ready for us to reach out to him when we are ready.

What am I going to do differently as a result?

We may be entering a time where we know more grieving friends, family and neighbours than we have ever experienced. I am struck that as much as I like sharing bits of understanding and trying to help, I don’t want to be like Job’s friends. I need to get better at listening and supporting through presence rather than ill-informed advice.

Who am I going to share this with?

I’m hoping there will not be too much grief in our immediate community, but we’ll see.